SA: I think one of the most important points you make in the book is this: With failure and fear comes choice. Explain.
BM: Yes, failure can be looked as an escape hatch. Failure gives an ending and an opportunity to continue on or go in a different direction. What we fear the most is that we do not have choices. We always (almost always) have choices and that can be reassuring. And I think we have to reassure people that fear is okay. Too many times in our society we say NO FEAR which is silly. It is okay to be afraid, we just need to use that fear. Sometimes it can be motivating. My mentor said that in basic training for bayonets he learned there are two kinds of people: the quick and the dead.
SA: So why DO people value failure so much?
BM: Because it makes us feel better when we are in it that there is redeeming value -- it give us the warm fuzzies. But I actually think that thinking we can always learn keeps us stuck in it. We need to just grieve, curse and move on. I like to wallow in it -- that feels good. I like to feel sorry for myself for a day and then it’s over.
SA: What about that feeling of impending failure? When things look to the outward world like they're going well -- you have clients, cash flow, etc. -- but YOU sense the impending doom, because the opportunity is outrunning your ability to execute. Drowning in your own success, as it were. Ever been there?
BM: Yup -- I call it "Growing Yourself Broke." It is actually a harder stage then starting a business. I think if we set patient goals we would be better off. Unfortunately society tells us to be bigger, better, faster, richer and better-looking all the time.
SA: Starting a business tends to be built on promises -- we take the cash because we need it, and then commit to delivering the product or service. But a lot of entrepreneurs get themselves over-promised / overcommitted -- without even realizing it.
BM: Ah, a very dangerous way to live but a very practical way to grow if you can deliver. This is my preferred method. They over-commit because they try to be everything to all people. Strive for minimal achievement -- commit to doing a few things well. I do three keynotes in my speaking part of my biz – that’s it -- but I do them well. And I have narrowed my consulting business. It’s hard to walk away from cash.
SA: The book is an obvious must-read for someone who's recently experienced a business failure. Why should someone riding the wave of success read it? Or someone just starting out?
BM: For those riding the wave: because good times don’t last forever. Learn how to use the ego appropriately. Success does not lead to more success. For the starter, so they know business success is not linear -- so they do not buy into those myths. If you only get your confidence from success, you will be SOL when you fail. You need to get resiliency and confidence from both success and failure!! I hate books like The Road to Success Is Paved with Failure (a real book, by the way) – nonsense!
SA: Why? What's wrong with that message?
BM: Because it makes it seem like there is always something to learn from failure and there isn't. It gives an excuse or reason for failure which sometimes there isn't. It’s too RAH-RAH for me. And guess what? There are many more times where people do not come back from failure than where they do. There are only so many Rocky's or J. K. Rowlings.
SA: I think one of the other most important points in the book is for you to define success on your own terms. What are some of the ways you can do that? And what do you do when the people around you -- friends, family, investors, even employees -- are trying to impose their idea of success on you?
BM: I think that you have to define ahead of time what success means to you. Money is important -- it is how we keep score -- but what else? If you have “bounce” -- true business confidence -- you can expand the definition. My definition of being happily successful has always been being able to support my family by doing something I enjoy, and doing something that makes a difference in people’s lives, which I am doing by writing and speaking.
SA: One last question… what’s with the rubber band ball on the cover?
BM: I’m glad you asked! I love the rubber band ball for a lot of reasons. I grew up making rubber band balls. They became somewhat of an obsession for me. I loved how you take a simple rubber band and make it into a cool toy ball that could bounce. The biggest one I ever made was about 6 inches in diameter. Recently I went on http://www.youtube.com/ and there are so many videos with rubber band balls doing a lot of things. I concept of the rubber band ball is that while there are not 10 steps to success, there are building blocks. In order to build true business confidence, you layer on these bands or foundations for yourself. Rubber bands are also very flexible and that is what you have to be in the business world to succeed.
SA: Thanks again for your time, and I wish you great success with the book.
For a free excerpt from Bounce!, see Failure Makes Choices.
